Rumah.

Manusia sewajarnya memiliki rumah.

Rumah adalah tempat yang paling mengerti, walaupun ia diam.
Rumah selalu menerima bagaimanapun keadaan tuannya,
tidak pernah mengeluh seburuk apapun pemiliknya.
Rumah akan selalu membuka pintu,
walaupun entah kapan yang punya akan pulang.

Dia akan selalu mencoba untuk bertahan melawan panas dan badai,
menunggu tuannya dari bepergian yang tak kunjung usai.

Apa mungkin manusia punya dua rumah?
Itu tidak akan pernah adil untuk rumah yang kedua.
Tapi bukankah rumah selalu rela?
Lantas, rumah bisa apa?

Aku hanya berpikir pantaskah aku menjadi rumah untukmu.
Menyaksikan tawamu, mengobati lelahmu,
memperhatikan setiap gerakmu,
melindungimu,
dalam bisu.

Tempat yang kau tuangi cerita,
yang akan meresapinya.

Aku berpikir, pantaskah aku membuatmu nyaman?
Walau hanya dengan senyum penuh keheningan?
Ah, apa mungkin manusia punya dua rumah?
Lantas, aku bisa apa?

Ini, terima pesanku.
Rawatlah rumahmu.
Dialah yang menyimpan semua sejarahmu.

Aku hanyalah rumah baru,
yang akan menunggumu tiba,
menyambutmu dengan hampa,
melindungimu dengan cara yang ku bisa,
memberimu lega.

Aku mungkin tidak bisa membuatmu betah.
Namun sebelum kamu menentukan arah,
maukah kamu singgah?

"... So hey..

She's waiting for you..

And I know for sure,

you're falling once again for a good time..."

Ye Good Ol' Days - White Shoes & The Couples Company

Quiet Down.

I knew someday I would feel this way.
But I never thought that it would be this hard.

For 18 years I've never been in a relationship. I don't know what it feels like to have a date, to share such attentions to the one that I adore, to have someone's name in my Twitter bio. And I'm not looking for one. Because, seriously, not having a boyfriend is really not a big deal. I get used to see my friends hanging around with their boyfriend. I feel really comfort for being alone, no jealousy.

But I feel this kind of loneliness..

when you really need someone to answer your question, but you know nobody can.
When you have so many things in your mind, but you have to put your focus on one.
When you got someone that you may have a discussion with, but you don't know how to start it. Or even worse, that you don't know how to tell your problem...
This kind of loneliness, when you're dying to greet a person but you're afraid that you will disturb them,
when you're finally brave enough to talk to them but it turns out that your chat is so annoying. Really annoying that they seems to directly hate you for bothering them.

I never thought that it would be this quiet.
I never thought it would be this painful.

So now let me go through it.
Let me bleed.
And let me heal myself.
As I learn from the wound itself.